teensy update…

time crunch. two papers due in two weeks. back to the practical now that the emotional eclipse week is closing. a lot is going on in my heart. cancer, money, papers, home, summer ending, fall’s busy next four months. longing for my man. this country. prejudice and racism. feeling scared to wear the jewish star my mom and i bought. scared to type the words that i am scared. a lot of fear. necessary choices over dream choices. the break-down of it all. the illusion and dissolution. too much on the plate of the heart. not a feast or famine. a ravished table. a blue sky. longing longing longing. present moment. doing laundry and typing keys. listening to binaural beats. gonna read and write all day and night, not be social at all. get it done. solitude, the medicine today. feeling the need to be all alone to focus. feeling the need to start a new painting too. maybe i will today. hard to think about exercising. seems hard to push my body right now. blah, boring, heart cannot share what is rich. private mercury retrograde feelings reeling through…

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