oh what a week it has been so far. the battle against racism is alive alive alive. many people, agents and targets, are standing up against it. i consider myself to be in the privileged group even though i am jewish. maybe because i don’t identify with the religion or maybe because i don’t feel their hate inside of me or face it outside of me cause i live in the liberal bubble of seattle…not sure but this how i feel. i am targeted and privileged, hybrid. i also feel like changing the name of liberal to humane. being humane is not liberal, to me. you can be humane and conservative. being humane is knowing in your heart that all distinctions among humans are nature’s beautiful way of creating variety and equality just is. inequality among races, genders, religions, etc…is a hunger for power and control masked behind a distinction, such as white skin. these people want power and control and it is not humane, it is a psychological terror. we have to fight, resist, stand against. i feel myself coming out of privileged apathy. we have to go through the feelings. i don’t believe in shaming people into action. i am not about violent reactivity or hate retaliation. i want equality and i keep my heart rooted to compassion and love, no matter how sick and awful the inhumane white people are. they don’t get to steal my compassion and love. it’s all so intense in this country right now. it is a nightmare. that’s why i let myself indulge in the romantic and wild freedoms that come along. that’s why i am painting and working hard on my writing. to stay focused and to balance with doses of joy. to not let my love get stolen as i learn how to be of use to fight this battle along with my american family who knows we are all equal. i think about the native americans who were decimated, their land stolen from them, their culture shattered by the white man in order for this country to be what it is today. i think of the slaves brought over from africa and segregation after slavery ended. i think about every submissive girl and wife, her sovereignty completely denied. these are our roots. the healing is still occurring. the president was given position by the those who want to return this country to their power and control, they are disconnected from love and equality, they want to oppress every human distinction but their own to have power, control, and wealth. this is happening. we must face what is happening. every day we are waking up inside the battle. the time is now that all of us mystics have been predicting. the sky is thick and grey like latte foam and back logged emotion. like distraction and dreams. i feel so in touch with death that life feels like a gift today, just to be here, to open my eyes again. hello, today.