full moon tomorrow. this is the full moon i am returning to my essence and doing ritual again after not doing it for a long time. i am feeling the call back to my pantheistic practices as i awaken the trickster back up within me after a long sleep. dreamed about being with a man again last night. this time, money and time made it difficult to be together. we had to work a lot. i needed to put a down payment on a house. something like that. every night i am dreaming of being with a partner. not sure why, if it’s premonition or desire. sick of writing my paper at this point. wanting it to be over. wanting what is new. my mom is doing well and hope is alive and real. the sky is still dirty with smoke. i feel tired and weary this morning. it’s ok. lots of inspiration has occurred too. many dreams are waking up. my heart feels close to the earth and sinking into honey or becoming like dew. i am sure there are thoughts wanting into my head but i am not letting them through because i am containing myself in the viscous goo of the present moment. i am animal. i am touching everything because everything is connected. computers are alive too but science yet doesn’t understand that sentience does not only come from sex and bodies. it can come from hands and mind too. what am i saying? who cares. too much, too soon. ride with the slow tide. be a tad pole and a turtle….muddle through….