the karmic beast is alive…

there is good news in the bad news. my mom’s chemo treatment has started and no more cancer was found in the organs or blood. we have the initial answers. even though it’s still so painful, i felt relief that the cancer did not spread more and treatment could finally begin. i hope her body takes to the chemo well. i know many, where chemo worked. life is mysterious and we all respond differently to different things. the animal in us follows a mysterious path from life to death. talking more about it in the park with a friend i have not seen in a long time. giving her a shadow reading. explaining the trickster inside. our karmic beast, here to live a specific life the natal chart reveals. where pluto is in the chart is where the shadow lives, in the system i am attuning to, as there are as many ways to interpret the chart as there are unique karmic beasts. how hard it was for us to let go of solving, fixing, and instead, feeling the myth of the beast. we all carry the myth of the beast within us. there are thematic collective stories that attach to our personal shadow. mine is about power. eight house pluto. power taken away. power over. power under. sexual power. anyhow…stuff. life. endings. sacrifice. love. words are flimsy. feelings are big. dream last night: i know my childhood friend played the role of a shadow aspect. she is driving a car in florida and we are surrounded by water, a ton of water (feeling). i am screaming at her to slow down. i am panicking from her driving too fast. she ignores me. we get into a big fight about it, she keeps insisting on having it her way and wont listen to me, though i cannot recall the next fight once we are parked. this is a reoccurring dream theme in the past year. the two fighting parts. each time it is my ego that is mad and feeling not heard and the each time the shadow is different slightly. i need to tune in more. gotta hurry and get on the mat this morning. going fast must be the thing right now.

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