bly and the shadow reveal…

read an essay on the shadow by robert bly yesterday that opened my mind to thinking about what got pushed into the shadow at a young age, in terms of my masculine side, subsequent loss of agency and the ability to go for what i want. a friend, in helping me debunk the way i keep this masculine energy in the shadow, mentioned that perhaps an excuse is showing up when i tell myself it is not my path to focus on the material world. too much to explain here and no need to but the important mind opening aspect is how excuses keep parts in the shadow. excuses can appear to be very intelligent explanations. the shadow parts want to stay there. they have devolved and fear the light. hence, i am not listening to “rational explanations” about myself right now. i am experimenting. if i bring this masculine shadow part into the light and allow myself to focus and create what i want in the physical world, will i become more whole? this is happening while at the same time i am debunking a sense of power i have given away (loss of agency’s other m.o.) to the “spiritual” domain. i mean, first of all, everything is spiritual. there is not a spiritual domain. the material world and ensouled body is as spiritual as the spirit free of the body and this world. secondly, i remember a reading i got a million years ago that said i would not find happiness in the world of the priestess but needed to find it in the world of the physical. maybe this speaks to my north node in capricorn, though it is in house twelve, a very “spiritual” house. this is not about black and white, this or that-ing. i am always going to be a priestess. this is about balance. about bringing lost parts home. about actualizing masculine energy in me that has been repressed, due to cultural upbringing, for years on end. about setting the divine feminine free by giving her action for her own life. this is coming out raw and not fully formed but i needed to get it down and begin to formulate. all for the sake of this paper i am writing. all for the sake of healing. coins and cups. water and earth. the spiritual and the material, as both are one…

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