yesterday was a strange feeling day. i decided to catalogue my journey reading the red book and the journey into my own hell by making an art journal. spent a bunch of money on art supplies and a journal with grey pages. this is not about anything i want to market, it is only for me. watched the library of congress you tube presentation on the red book, part one, completely absorbed. sometimes i think i want to take the path of becoming a jungian analyst, because my life forces raises tremendously when it comes to anything jung. though i am not one to follow traditional paths, and i would need to move to los angeles or new york city to do it. how ambitious am i? does it really matter? i can just as easily incorporate the skills without the certification. i will keep letting the path unfold, paying special attention to making conscious choices and having a plan, which is what my capricorn north node wants me to do. i cannot just go with the flow if i am to wear the capricorn suit in this life. it’s not easy. i want to be a crab and go with the flow of the sea, like a good cancer south node. sigh. north nodes are uncomfortable. it’s much easier to descend into my personal hell than it is to be capricorn. hahaha. anyhow, i felt disconnected from the outside world yesterday. maybe i needed it. all i wanted to do was hibernate even when the sun was shining. i closed my curtains on the sun flooding into my apartment and put on the library of congress video. the sun is out right now, enticing me, though i still feel somewhat detached from it. i am not completely in the third dimension perhaps. it is easter for a crap ton of humans today. it is only sunday for me and i want to make the best of it. not sure how. i could begin my self assessment paper today. so far i have only been organizing the data rolling in from my peers. this blog is boring but who cares. might as well just end it. not much to put here this morning.