yesterday the energy shifted. i was scholastically productive by day and by night i sang karaoke on a stage. this was a huge fear facing. not too long ago i sang in one of those private rooms with my cohort-mates and that took a lot of courage. last night was next level. my friends went up on the little stage with me too. on many of songs i sang lead much of the time. when my voice sucked i did not mind and when my voice sounded good, i felt happy. it was the most fun i have had in a long time. we went to greenwood. i wanted to check out that district to see about moving up there. felt pretty decent. like old seattle. i sure do miss old seattle. i could see myself living in that hood. time will tell. felt great to get off the hill and felt great to be on it. at the bar we were in before hand, on the hill for dinner, two men were communicating with their hands because both are deaf and mute. my friend knew them from the 8 bus and she loves them. i fell in love with them too. how did they find one another? to watch them communicating by signing hand on hand was beautiful. the bartender helped them get into a cab when they left. i asked him how he communicates with them. he said one guy hears a little and he knows some sign language. what a boon. serendipity is real. i feel like this week has been poetic and sweet, reminding me of the magic of life.
i know it’s easter and passover for those who are into the abrahamic religions. i asked my friends what their relationship is with christianity last night and both their answers were powerful to listen to. i am not a religious person on any level, not abrahamic or pagan. i do feel christ consciousness as a very real archetype and a real being of the universe. to me, christ is inside of us all if we tap into it. christ is the energy of unconditional love, acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness. i tap into christ within me every day. i don’t believe jesus is god or god is some external being ruling everything. i don’t believe in an external place called heaven or hell. i don’t believe in a messiah or anyone who will come to save us. i see the christian myth as what is being acted out by humanity. humanity has killed the aspect within our psyches of unconditional love and until we resurrect this aspect within ourselves, this world will continue to worship money, status, power, and all the temporary things. the death of jesus is the death of our ability to truly take care of one another and live a life of love in action. the resurrection of christ is our collective transformation back into love and when we do this, we will save ourselves. at the same time, spiritual beings help us…
god/goddess/allthatis/source/spirit is available to take our suffering and pain if we are available to let go of it. angels are here to help. light beings are here to help. we have so much help and support from great beings such as jesus among others who have been human and many who have never been human. we always have help from spirit itself, living inside of us, as us, all around us, in and as everything. i call upon my helpers and spirit every single day. i am spiritual to the core but just not into religion. we all have our paths. so long as your god is not marginalizing and casting people out for who they are, i am cool with what you believe. the only religions i am uncool with are the fundamentalist versions. no, men should not be head of the house hold. no, being gay is not a sin. when i get angry at these rules and how they harm others i look within myself, as jung would do, to see where i may hold fundamentalist beliefs about myself. here are a few: i need to be thinner to be romantically loved. having a big tummy is bad. i am working on dissolving all of my rigid beliefs that marginalize love in a way shape or form within me. i own my own hatred and disgust. i know feeling hatred and disgust are just human emotions. i am loving the shadow. this is my tenacious protocol. my practice.
i am also not into casting spells. i would not consider myself a witch by any means, though i have been called one many times. i don’t resonate with any version of religious type casting. the closest thing i can call myself is a multidimensional being of light. this does not mean i don’t have a shadow. i have a shadow in this third and even in the fourth dimensional realms. but the moment i find myself in the fifth dimension and further layers outward (or inward, depending on your structural model), the shadow vanishes and duality is not a thing. i honor duality and the third/fourth dimensional realms. i know a lot of new age doctrine is resistant and all about rising above duality, but to me this is the same as focusing only on heaven or like in the eastern mystic way, transcending form and returning to brahma or nirvana. some are on this path, i don’t knock it. my path is to bless the here and now, to fully incarnate in the here and now, to understand the here and now, and to bring the upper/outer/inner dimensions of light to the here and now, both shadow and light sides. i guess i know what i am doing on the deeper levels. it’s knowing what district to live in and what to eat for lunch that’s much harder to figure out.