what to say…what to say. been feeling wordless these past few days. quiet. dreamy. slow. spacey but grounded due to my yoga practice and hematite stones. sometimes i feel like a crystal in disguise as human. i am tired of words. i am weary from solutions and not having them or knowing them or caring or….well, i am diving into chaos. it’s all i can do. i don’t know where to move. bellevue still calls to me. the east side calls to me. maybe not the culture but i am craving the space, nature and expanse of it. feeling cramped on the west side. wanting to feel the emptiness around me that the suburbs provide. needing a change of scene and scenery. i am changing. not sure who i am becoming but who i was is slipping away from me slowly like dandelion fuzz on the wind. the city girl feels unimportant to me this morning. i want to breathe in trees. maybe it’s a feeling of suffocation i am responding to. anyhow, blah blah blah. these are passing thoughts and nothing more. i want to be a tree for a day. i want to eradicate logic for a day. i want to feel energy for energy’s sake and stop trying to turn it into something. rebellion. rebellion from western civilization. i can’t paint either. why? i think it’s the medium. i think i need to switch to water colors. i think i need a new home. a new home, a new medium, a new scene, a new identity, a new perspective. breathing room breathing room. the same ole same ole got me down. don’t even care about sealing any deals or holding anything down. my gypsy spirit feels strong. she does not need to seal deals or hold things down. she is devoted to mobile things such as feelings, art, wisdom, love. i knew this pisces eclipse would hit hard. i knew it would change me. i am soaking in her mystery. the goddess has my heart.