luminous fog blog…

i haven’t blogged in two days. feels weird but i did not have time and frankly, i was getting on my own nerves. or my thoughts were getting on my own nerves. sometimes thoughts seem so repetitive. like broken records. like fragments of a broken mirror. after she and i did readings in the cafe on our family of origin healing work, it became clear to me i need to drop more into my soul and heart space in order to reclaim power. the mind can also act as a ruse, you know. it can be a shield that protects you from the raw slimy oozing reality that wants to pour forth like lava from the lips. if i say, “the reason for this is blah blah blah,” it might be covering up a deeper truth that has no reason at all. when the high priestess is your well spring and core, the unknown is where it’s at. the mystery is my deepest resource. i am not here to say, “i know.” saying, “i know” does not heal nor transform. what heals and transforms cannot be caught, killed, and preserved like a butterfly caught in a net and displayed eternally within glass. imperialism tries hard to maintain continuity of the ancient bloodlines, sacrificing the human race for it’s filthy agenda and every person knows it deep down beyond knowing… and yet even deeper down we have nature orchestrating the strings and making sure the conflicts bring transformation and not stagnation. truth has many facets. i am feeling wacky and connected. i want to keep on giving and i know i also need to receive. i don’t know what i am writing anymore to be honest, just letting the words flow forth from me. excited that a friend is taking me to the symphony tonight. i have never been before. feeling like there is so much to do and wishing to be a slow donkey last in line and to gaze into the sky like a glossy eyed dreamer. i miss my family. i miss the warmth of spring. feels good to blog again. these words feel emollient and sunny on this grey morning. now, can i get back on the mat? can i find my way back into the body? yes….slowly…softly….i crave re-entrance…

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