twelve hour sleep ramble…

went to sleep at 7 pm last night cause i was so tired. strange to sleep for almost twelve hours. i feel disoriented. the sky is black cause morning hasn’t officially happened yet. rain is pouring down. the full moon lunar eclipse is tomorrow. feeling it. kaypacha says the full moon lunar eclipse is about expressing our feelings in a productive way, with some grace. aware emotional expression (can be a tall order). i wonder if that will light up for me. i don’t feel very emotional right now. i am still metabolizing the unfamiliarity of my new internship, this country’s mayhem, and just how different reality feels than it did only four months ago. we are not on the same dimension, not in the same parallel reality, the quality of being is different and it’s not only about my personal life. i remember reading about jung having a nervous breakdown before world war two. he had dreams and knew something was coming. when you connect to your unconscious you get premonitions. not making a big deal about premonitions though. i am choosing my responses and i choose grace. what is grace? emotionally showing up for what is happening with an open heart? perhaps. i know my life is different too. i left the metaphysical world and entered the world of psychology. this is a big change. granted, the two worlds are not separate if you zoom back far enough into the unconscious. healing and awareness are the roots of both. but within our dominant cultural paradigm the worlds are very different. my learning curve is steep. using my left brain and right brain equally is happening every day. i used to let my left brain sit in the back seat and watch the scenery for much of the time. the clients are different in the two worlds. i am really enjoying the people i am working with now. this sentence strikes a chord in me that resonates deep in my heart. my life is about people and connection. i move cultural worlds to be around different people. i bet i will always move worlds for as long as this body is alive and beyond. i am a world mover. some people stay in the same world for life, they are rooters. not that what one does needs to become an identity. funny, how automatically i turn a verb into a noun. i turn moving from world to world into being a world mover. though i think i am dong this because i am connecting to people’s temperaments. our temperaments are the foundation for our choices in life. my temperament chooses variety and connection. what does your temperament choose? i am rambling. i have no agenda. i don’t have enough fire in me to have an agenda this morning. i feel like mist. maybe the full moon in leo will gift me some fire. i decided i needed a little break from being so damn intense and here i am, in the mistiness of my softening. that sounds like some bad poetry. gotta get out of here (referring to my head) and find my way into the feet…

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