heady blurb on wednesday…

insomnia like crazy last night. maybe i slept…three hours? woke up without the alarm as the energy of wakefulness continues on. felt starlight filled my cells yesterday. had a great day singing with my co-facilitator and the group, just being present. realize more than ever how life feels comes from the inside. keep listening to my soul and hearing that relying on the inner light is the ground right now and ahead. like the hanged man archetype i dangle upside down, suspended. my head is my root and feet aspire. we all enter the underbelly in this country now, but the underworld has run the show for thousands of years. watching jordan peterson videos last night…speaking about the archetypal story of jung’s hero through the movie, the lion king. he was also describing conservatism verses liberalism in the personality. saying how our political preference is based on our temperament. conservatism is a high conscientiousness and low openness. liberalism is low conscientiousness and high openness. the former wants borders and boxes and to keep everything inside of them to keep things together. the latter want to let everything out of the boxes in order to have things flow better. in truth, both are needed at different times for different reasons, but that is not our story. our story is to pick a side and deny the other side. my paraphrase is rushed and childlike, from the insomnia. i will link part one of this video below. he also described how prejudice is a consequence disgust in the personality and not fear. too much to explain. i could write pages on what i learned from him last night but want to keep this short. makes sense to me, how temperament guides political choice and how we identity with our temperament and tend to deny what is not “us”. at the same time he explained the hero myth through the lion king movie and something happened in my unconscious while watching. i am not sure what. something woke up. been feeling the radio stations of thought emanating from a mysterious place and how my body attunes to these stations and catches thought. this is the same thing as relating to archetypes. the phenomenological relationship between forms. archetype and human. radio station and mind. whatever you want to call it, this relationship is being highlighted. i am transmuting all of my desire for true love into investigating these subtle body relationships. might as well put longing to use. the neural pathway for sorrow has become totalitarian in this brain and my state of sorrow is falling now, as the regime could not keep up with my soul which is moving on to new feelings. who is the new leader? i am going through the internal process i wish to see humanity go through. i am a minicosm of something larger. unifying my inner forces, marrying opposites, cleansing from tyrannical denial strategies within. currently living inside the boxes because that is what is needed for me. later i will open the boxes again. this is alchemy. being both. not denying what does not feel like me. healing, transforming, becoming. and now back down to the ground again…

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