thursday blurbing…

another icy cold blue morning. another deep heavy night’s sleep with intense dreaming. my brain hurt yesterday from letting in too much into my third eye, which has led to an investigation of unconscious content inside my head. is the gate too wide open from having my voice and boundaries stolen in the past? have i made a soul vow to do healing work too intense for one human to handle? where are the discrepancies between action and feeling? let the sleuthing begin. looking at apartments wondering where i will move and when. in the throws of inner tornados. helpful when helping others on the outside of this skin, but don’t avoid what’s inside. burning jasmine and agarwood incense. true self bound and committed. catching up with an old friend. snippets is all this brain wants to handle. needing a break from social media. needing to take time to feed the soul hunger and let the fixer and doer rest. snow capped mountain reminding me of how long linear time is. long long long. we got eons and if we destroy the human race, earth has eons and whatever gets destroyed, so be it. the sanctuary of allowance and letting go. surrendering into the flow. opening heart to what is presenting with fervor and release. left brained calling to write about human rights and toxicity within institutions. needing to climb the mountain and also needing to swim in the deep sea. making meaning out of each moment of living. making art seems so far away now. i wonder when i will return? how long can i allow my brain to hurt? maybe the solution just arose? maybe i need to make art to soothe the pain. how many times must i learn this…again and again and again…

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