jungian treasure dream and realizing where i am located in the vastness…

another incredible dream that is a jungian treasure. i wish i could recall it in better detail. was a shadow dream. i was apartment hunting with some male friends. came across a young man in one of the homes. he was from dc. turns out, through talking to him, that he is sick. he desires to murder, had not murdered yet, but has trapped people in cabinets and did more to them my conscious self cannot recall, because it involved blood and violence. we were hanging out with him and his housemates for a while. everyone was minimizing his behavior in one form or another, except me. this is a theme in my dreams: i am desperately trying to get others to see what i see that is obvious, while they remain in an oblivious haze. in this dream i was trying to decide, with the others, if we should take him to the police or drop him off someplace unknown so he could have a second chance. lots happened in the dream, such as one of his roommates getting out of a dresser he had locked her in for an hour. driving around places. conversations. i felt compassion for him but still understood the severity of his illness. nobody else understood the severity, they kept acting like it was no big deal. the young man came across as very sweet, sincere, and magnetic. everyone liked him. i remain detached from his charms, trying to solve the puzzle of what to do with him. my frustrations rose and the characters changed. my friends turned into the cast of madmen, don and roger specifically. i wanted leave but they wanted to stay. on and on the hanging out continued, till it was becoming a sleep over. my efforts to leave and take him with us are thwarted each time by rationalizations on the part of everyone else. i find out that don has gone into the basement with him and freak out, knowing the basement is where the sick young man will be compelled to cause don harm. i yell at roger, “this is not good! i know you all like him, but roger, you only like him because you feel focused around him, aren’t i right?” roger nods yes, then i say, “so you see it’s not that you like him, you just like how you feel when you are around him!” roger understands and then i wake up.

what is interesting is that in a journey i took previous to last night’s dream, i was taken to pan in the underworld. pan was speaking the same words i feel, of which i don’t want to repeat here, but through this i understood that pan is a part of me, the denied animal aspect and an animus aspect. it was powerful to finally realize this and not see him as a lover or separate being. it felt so real. we merged together as one and once this happened i went from wearing red to blue. suddenly my sense of smell was heightened and i felt more telepathic and alive. i also felt more connected to the world. there is more but i wont go into it here, just will note it has to do with all that pains me being connected to this siphoning of this animus aspect. i wonder…how this is connected to my dream last night? i know it is connected. i know that my recent conviction and conscious passion to connect to my unconscious, explore, heal, and understand the contents… is changing my dream and waking state. before being seized by jung i was on a more indian spirituality path of rising above the distinctions of experience and clumping all the distinctions as one thing: the mind telling stories, while focusing on being breath. for years i have steeped in this and now i just dove into the jungian work of having tangible detailed experiences with my unconscious in order to understand the psyche on a new level. the psyche is not only mind, it is the alchemy of spirit made into form. i have known but it’s different now because in my younger years i treated the investigations more mystically. jung has inspired me to look through the lens of psychology now. hence, pan goes from being an etheric being in the underworld to an animus aspect in my unconscious. i am playing with language, lenses, perspective…following what ignites my passion…the journey goes from known to unknown again…

change on all levels: school, home, spiritual path. the constants right now are my yoga practice, my friends, and my creative expression…of which is sorely lacking and i need  to find my way back to…

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