nine hours of sleep for once…

woke up really late this morning. guess i needed it. not much to say here in blog because i want to write my school papers and perhaps i am saving it all up. or maybe my brain is soaking up jung and dreams. i am deep sea diving. truly not sure what to say. gonna write what comes to mind. relationships? i could talk about that again. romantic love, true love, monogamous love, polyamorous love, one night stand love, lovers love…so many forms of sexual expression that may be rooted in love. i honor all forms even though my heart is monogamous and into mating for life. i can jump inside the heart of any kind of sexual love. i always wish to try on other hearts and get out of my own self for a while. a constant restlessness for variety, i have. though i surrender to my monogamous life long love heart. i like what comes out of it. i like what is created from commitment. i want alchemy. i believe in matches. i know one day i will experience it and not be good will hunting. i know one day this chronic karma will be done. new problems will arise and want to last on and on. right now i am shucking all spiritual cosmological frameworks as i move deeper into jung’s perspective. i truly feel like his disciple right now. i am seeing how the conscious personality compensates for the unconscious, which may be discovered in dreams. i forgot my dreams again last night. but there was water. these two levels of reality, conscious and unconscious, feel so natural to me. i experience it in my feelings and don’t need belief. where as narrative therapy is a mental belief that brings relief to the wounded, for me. nature is not always kind. makes me think of a jordan peterson lecture i watched recently. i want to watch more while i read jung. my passion is flooding like the nile, for everything psychology right now. but i don’t want to write these papers. i want to write other papers. my second paper is on families, which to be honest, i am not into at all. i have little to no passion for family therapy. for me, all the passion is for the unconscious and deeper self. the dynamics of relationship interests me somewhat, but not as a therapist. anyhow, it’s interesting to me…that two years ago all i cared about was krishna das and oneness. now here i am sunken into the details of western thought. i admit that my passions are stoked by western thought, not by eastern wisdom. i am rooted in eastern wisdom cause i feel it down to my core. per usual though, i am both. my destiny is to integrate, not choose one over the other. maybe i will integrate monogamy with polyamory? who knows. life is a creative emergent process. nothing is set in stone…except that i am love.

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