obsessed with listening to binaural beats and solfeggio frequencies right now. all night long and in the morning i listen. i feel this changing my cells. if i picture my cells as a land, i can think of middle earth from lord of the rings. when listening to solfeggio and binaural beats, it’s like the curse is broken and in comes the return of the light, to middle earth, my being. it is the elementals that heal me the most. sound, color, flowers, crystals, healing hands, body movement. talk therapy brings insight and clarity that will shift my conscious awareness, initiating a flood of awakening too. did yoga yesterday, finally. it was proven to me that four days off the matt turned me into a cranky individual. i did yoga to the music of nine solfeggio frequencies and noticed a deepening of my concentration. a slowing down. i realize that going slower is key for me. the slower i move, the more awareness floods into my brain, opening my heart to this life. i am a slow creature. turtle, rock, moon, all life that holds space at a nearly still pace. stones only move by influencing the will of humans to move them. now that is crafty! finished reading a book on narrative therapy and feel very inspired by it. my brain is juggling narrative into the mix of everything else. can i distill this juggling act into succinct specifics in order to write a paper? i will have to make it so. but portland is coming up first. really looking forward to seeing my people in the shire. to dancing. to being in the company of old roots and as i call us, the thunderbirds. the election is on my mind. i really cannot believe trump is for real, still. it feels like a bad dream. if he wins i see chaos ensuing. chaos and lament. the psyche of this country manifested him. he would not have power if people weren’t buying what he is selling. hate and selfishness, it burdens my heart. i don’t want to hate anybody. i don’t want to make anybody feel like shit for who they are. people make fun of people all the time and i am sick of it. like making fun of vegans. i understand how many vegans can have a self righteous personality and this is what ticks other people off. i also understand the reason why i am vegan has nothing to do with me. it is because i don’t want to eat animals being treated horribly. even in the “organic industry” it is an animal holocaust filled with atrocious practices. if every person who ate meat had to walk through these “farms” and witness the cruelty, i wonder how many would also stop eating animal products? this is why i don’t eat them. i am not vegan to be a persona. it is not about me. when it is about me i fall off the wagon and eat meat and dairy because i love the taste. when i am able to sacrifice my own desires for the mercy of animals, i am vegan. i guess being made fun of is a part of it. i don’t judge meat eaters. i don’t give my meat eating friends a hard time. i get both sides and understand both sides. do i want the animal cruelty to end? hell yes. but it is not going to end by being mean and making other people feel like crap. this is just a rant toward the mean spirit. anyhow, moving on….