dripping faucet blog…

i am listening to binaural beats as i type this, all nine solfeggio frequencies. i find this to be extremely powerful medicine for me. the sky is grey today, i love it. got two candles lit on either side of my laptop. incense is burning. coffee is warming my tummy. woke up a 6 am again. i prefer early morning peace to start my day. yesterday was the full moon in pisces. i am working on a painting i hope to finish today. started reading a book on narrative therapy, passion ablaze. art and psychology are where my interests spark right now the most. metaphysics feels tired and boring for me lately. i am sick of the same ole story of astrology. let me sum it up for you: let go of karma, feel the feelings, use sudden change to innovate, tension between going for what you want and having to surrender, limits and dreams playing tennis, be detailed and purify, now expand through relationships, be your true self, see your projections. blah blah blah. i think why narrative therapy has my heart right now is because the founders used philosophy to create a new psychological model that took problems outside the skin of the human. i don’t want to use up blog to explain it, but i dig it. though i am no extremist. i like to blend the polarities. hence i will blend psychoanalysis and narrative therapy polarities in my style. hybrid everything. am i really moving to bellevue? change of direction. i am not attached to my lifestyle all that much. to be honest, i have outgrown it. i am bored with city life as much as i am bored with metaphysics. let me break it down for you: show up at a place looking fashionable around other people looking fashionable. do a bunch of talking. listen to music. look at art. eat and drink. share your preferences and aversions. walk on concrete. ha, i love my snarky summing up. it’s quite irreverent. no worries, it’s only a mood. i love metaphysics, i love the city. i could do the same for me. let me try to sum it up for you. me: deep thinking and talking. tons of crystals on the body and in the home. finding balance with everything under the sun. facing fears. lots of moods. seeing objectively. feeling everything. always in the flow. ha! same ole same ole. i think there might be some longing turning into flatness inside. like a soda left out in the rain with the cap off. like lana del rey standing outside of 7-11 waiting to be picked up by a stranger in the ride video. like being so zoomed out i see my death through the eyes of somebody who is grieving me. like the cliche saying i told ya so. like the comfort of the sun rising, even through the thick smokey grey morning. i dunno. i am loosening my grip. letting words drip. finding sanctuary in the poetic like a chocolate dipped cone. contain me. wrap me up tight and tell me to stay put. i am not the wind. i am not the wind. tension makes it grow. up through cement the trunk of a tree bursts. mother earth is stronger, you know. extra long blog, extra sugar free gum. twins on bicycles. stream of thoughts. a blue room. sitting alone. the tiniest lasagna made in three minutes on facebook. oh yeah, i got back on facebook but so far i am in control. this crazy techno world that is evil and positive at the same time. i hate the word evil because of the mood it creates. blood and guts spilled over so many lands due to the hands of just a few. why? don’t ask why. meaning-making cleanse. alright then. let me end this thing. let me stop telling me how it goes…

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