catharsis city. being in grad school and becoming a therapist is powerful alchemy for my growth. i am facing not only all of my fears, but also contents that have rested dormant and undetected in my unconscious for years. feeling devoted to this process. hung out with sage last night for a marathon conversation about everything. politics, our country, injustice, sex, men and women, school, transference, fears. she also showed me a brilliant stand up poet woman who brought tears to my eyes and inspiration into my bloodstream like a shot of pleaidian champagne. by the time i went to bed i crashed hard and dreamed the kind of dream that is the pearl inside the oyster. a dream that revealed to me the differentiation work i need to do and the transference i have been experiencing with keen clarity. now that i see it, i also see how meant to be grad school and the profession of becoming a therapist is for my own healing process. mutual service. i help others and myself at the same time. this is the age of aquarius way of helping. no martyrs. i also need to mention that healing can be just as powerful for me in a psychoanalytic way as a somatic way. clarity speaks to my body. my body responds. my body today is so rooted to the earth, free of confusion. i do have a slightly pulled muscle on the left side of my body. this means that the yin/feminine part of me is needing attention. i will do yoga gently. yesterday i did headstands for the first time, against the wall. i caved in and decided it was best to use the wall after speaking with ruby. it’s ok to get support. by allowing myself to have support i was able to move my legs away from the wall and hold headstand for a few seconds. it felt akin to traveling to a foreign land. i suppose ganesha was right, yesterday was a revelation day. today feels like integration. seven of pentacles. planting seeds. the sun is strong in a blue dome sky. part of me wishes to cry. for humanity and injustice. for the trauma living in every human heart. maybe that is the side pain. i don’t know what to say about it, i only feel sorrow and love. i think of that poet sage showed me. her name is stacyann chin on you tube, but on her channel she only has these cool “living room protests” with her young daughter. those are great too, and her poety, uhhhhh. i will post a link below.