ode to my friend…

now i understand why i was feeling so heavy on the bus ride home, when i wondered whose feelings i was feeling. found out last night about the passing of a friend. she was only twenty six. cancer took over her body. joanna was a client of mine at vajra three years ago, at first. we became friends soon after, connecting in our shared november third birthday and having a life from the pleaidies. we would go to the park or cafes and talk about how to be here on this planet, delving deep like scorpios do, bonding over pain and our soul memories. i remember one time at cal anderson park, we lay in the grass and talked about where our home of homes was on the other side of the veil. that was the strongest time i felt our soul connection. only very few people have i been able to get that esoteric with. i remember being at madison park and ducks waddling up to us, one walked onto her tummy, i have a picture of it on my phone. i remember having a glass of wine at a happy hour in queen anne, when her tongue hurt but she did not yet know it was cancer. for a while she was having ailments not knowing why, i met with her throughout the process of finding out. i gave her an orange medicine bag filled with stones. she gave me a blue painting she made. i remember the last time i saw her at roy street coffee, when i pulled cards for her. i remember the last time i connected with her over email when we were going to have a visit, but she had to cancel. that was the last time i heard from her directly. i had no idea that would be our last contact. how young to lose her human life. we talked about our dreams, she had beautiful dreams nestled in her heart. at the time i met her, she was beginning to flourish after years of working through some very tough times. i feel sad and regretful for not making more of an effort to communicate with her during the cancer battle. i should have. i never once thought cancer would take her life. i think about her mom and know that there is no worse pain than to lose a child, especially so young. my energy goes out to joanna’s family. i found out on facebook and read through everyone’s goodbye posts. i posted too and wondered why. i doubt her soul is reading her facebook feed but it feels like she could or like she knows on some level. the desire to honor her life through expression is large. in my spiritual beliefs, which i shared with joanna, i know she is off on new adventures and returning back home, both. i feel joy for her soul and continued journeying. i celebrate her soul. i also feel relief that she is free of the pain that the battle put her through. i have so much gratitude for the time i got to know joanna. her life was cut short and it feels wrong and horrible, not only the shortness of her life, but the pain she endured over the past year battling cancer. the light of her star child essence poured out through her large eyes all the time, you couldn’t avoid it. there was humor exuding too, and so much patience and maturity for a twenty three year old…the age she was when i first met her. she said she always was drawn to older people as a result. she was a healer and an artist committed to the flourishing of her life and the life of the planet. i saw myself in her and tried to streamline her emotional lessons in the beginning, so she could avoid the pitfalls i went through at her age. this was before physical illness took over, in that first year of our friendship. now she has left the body and back on the other side, i feel her resting deeply. time to let the tears flow and to honor her existence. joanna is a sapphire in my heart…

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