romantic tuesday wake up…

but you know that i’ll forgive you, just this once twice, forever, cause baby you could drag me through hell and back, just as long as we’re together, and you do….this is a line from a wham song stuck in my head upon waking. i feel romantic love in my heart this grey morning. kinda masochistic being dragged through hell and back all the time and having to forgive, though. but you know, i live in the underworld and it’s a calm and happy place for me. hell on the other hand, not much into that version. hell is so bugs bunny. some days romance fills me up inside like helium in a balloon. today is one of those days. and so it will be a hanged man surrender, as i have no man to share it with. i will share it with art and nature instead. it’s days like this i wish to be walking with his arms around me through the city streets feeling like i have love, not seeking or letting go or learning lessons or being content without. but alas we all have and have not. some worse than others. some better than others. at least i know how to romance myself. the emptiness i am steeping in wont allow me to sulk or hope, but i have faith and know romantic love with an equal is mine. i also know death is ever present and everything is temporary. this continual balancing act of wanting and letting go rules my heart, my life, my perception. intense dreams last night. i believe they were dark as shit. i believe i was being held captive by a man who used me for sex. real quaint. the new moon is approaching and i feel that too. newness. aries. fire. child-like. i feel active, alive, fresh, and dramatic in a flourishing type of way. like the fool card in the tarot. excited to jump into the unknown. my desires may not match the week ahead of work, school, hunkering down to serve and learn…but this is why music and art exists. i will paint and listen to express this passionate wave of romance coursing through my bright blue rivers of blood. use the aries energy to get work done. methods. the art form of harmony and balance. not much else to say. oh lover, whomever you are, it’s gonna be good, right when you decided love could not match your heart, you will see that she does. oh and life, with all your continual work, here is my body and mind, ever present to tend to your garden…

One thought on “romantic tuesday wake up…

  1. ” it’s days like this i wish to be walking with his arms around me through the city streets feeling like i have love, not seeking or letting go or learning lessons or being content without.”

    Yes.

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