last night was so much fun. i needed it. one night of that kind of joy spreads like strawberry jam all over the landscape of my thoughts. spent the afternoon painting something that took life out of me. the shadow emerged onto canvas. i felt like i was gonna faint. laying down on my bed, i wondered if i had purged him from me, or if he was showing up for understanding. a little of both? the masquerade ball of the underworld commenced soon after. perfumed cleo on her barge, a studio floating along the sky river. twirling. talking in accents. decadence. silliness. letting go of everything serious. hungry couch swallowing limbs. building windows lit up like grins. luminous night fades into pale blue dawn. silvery morning. birds chirping their city song. another family trial talked about with mom. we traverse through uncertainty and pain. tears release before each calm. moments of elation. moments of loss. the hero’s journey. the coin that is tossed. i put too much pesto in the pasta but it was alright. i did not want the shadow to paint me, but he did alright. shaking the contents how change happens out of the blue. one minute seeing it one way, and the next minute, an entirely different perception ensues. eating salad. talking it through. browsing through good will. finding an orange plastic strainer. no profound statement. a kaleidoscope instead….