i did not blog yesterday. was so tired after school, i fell asleep by nine. quickly now. armor down in layers. be brave now. show the heart. many many hours of skills group. well…not that many. but it feels endless. it feels like every day from this day forward i will be in school for ten hours a day. dramatic. getting up at six is surprisingly easy. yoga for five minutes only. witnessing my peers get vulnerable one by one. each time i take in the pain and another layer of armor falls. i was armored from two years of being a warrior. or so the story seems. repeating words. we are all in this together. stories perch like birds in my light house. precious souls. i am activated. scared. in awe. professors moving me. falling back in love with psychology. creativity in the living being. unsure of myself in groups. still wanting to wear the invisibility cloak, but each day i get a little more visible. letting out lemurian juju. making new friends. lunches in the large corporate atrium. timidity. appreciation. turquoise. coffee. florescent light. individual stories making up a book of time. tongues like swords wielding truth, not to cut, but to understand. i got a cohort that with fiery urges to rewire old models. divine sensitivity. using new material. interpersonal gaps. ladder of accountability. being present. forward fold. surrender. it’s hard to make sentences right now, after tacos. close to bed. nothing is left swimming in my head. been like that for two days. absorbing by osmosis. writing while listening to les mis. i don’t know. what am i saying? loopy. tired. satisfied. simple. a person going to grad school. yet it feels so fucking life changing.