awe for the psyche…

i am fascinated how, when i made one tiny adjustment in my perspective, clarity came about the next stage of my life purpose, on a practical level.  mind blown.  we all have out hang ups, don’t we….i mean, the mind, it gets so hell bent on a certain approach, that the approach literally acts like blinders.  as we grow, old ways of perceiving life want to die out.  but you may not recognize it because the old way usually stemmed from an emotional place inside, that needed a coping mechanism.  such as me clinging to being a bohemian artist living on the fringes, to protect myself from the threat i felt being a part of society as a young adult.  this has nothing to do with the fact that society is completely corrupt, cause it is.  it’s more about how you relate to that.  some are in complete denial, and some are aware.  those who are aware, choose to either infiltrate the system and help, or abandon the system and find peace in their own lives.  then there are those who feel victimized and suffer, those who are so mistreated that they have no choice but to obey if they want to stay alive, and then there are the punks and artists who rebel, but don’t do much to infiltrate and help.  an artist who makes it into society, has a message that brings awareness and change, is an infiltrator…but most artists of this caliber never reach enough people, and live unnoticed by society.  that has been me.  i have been partially that, and also the healer, infiltrating to help, but on the fringe…as my version of spirituality and healing modalities are still not understood or accepted by most of society.  anyhow, point being, i am ready for a new version of infiltrating, and i feel ready to let my old coping mechanisms, identities, and defense mechanisms die off.  what’s interesting, is that i did not get to this current catharsis through analysis or anything mental.  i got here due to my yoga practice, which has opened my heart, and led to greater equanimity over the past two years.  by doing my practice, the old just fell away in a moment.  that moment came from a sentence or two spoken by good friends being unsuspected catalysts.  once the words were spoken, the old way shed off like snake skin.  it’s so cool how it works, being human.  in awe for the power of the internal experience.  and now…onward!