the night it all changed…

just one conversation with two people changed everything.  thank you symon and nelly, for showing me the way to truth inside.  i could not see it before last night.  my path is illuminating.  the very thing i have been running away from, is the thing i must do.  the very thing i have been avoiding, is coming true.  classic.  cliche.  through and through.  funny, how the right feeling inside is not one that is centered around fun or pleasure, but instead, is centered around duty and providing.  capricorn north node is rising.  a new me is being born from this uranus opposition, completely different from the way i have been living for the past twenty years, internally.  externally, it’s taking one half of my gift and growing it into greater responsibility.  not going to speak about it yet, cause the mud ball is still churning…but wanting to simply note the breakthrough.  all because of two friends.  on another note, bars are still smoking in las vegas.  what a trip.  hadn’t been in champagnes in a decade.  the sweet nostalgia of soaking up the smoky red velvet dark dive bar, over intense conversation about life, while sipping on a whisky and soda.  somebody singing karaoke “i want to get away, i want to get away,” in the background.  memories of all nighters and the care free of youth.  taking lyft.  listening to my friend befriend each driver, making connections with everybody he meets, wherever he goes.  living his purpose vividly.  knowing i am doing what he did at age twenty seven (late bloomer.)  a new way of looking at it all.  growth spurt feeling.  on the other side of the wave of confusion.  clarity i did not see coming.  relief, deep breath, diving into the unknown…