some sort of blog….

obsessed with the show “shameless”.  can’t stop watching episodes of it, one after the next.  tearing up, laughing, grossed out, shocked, and absorbed into the gallager family.  as a creative work of art, i bow down to the writing, acting, and directing, too.  to be able to show, craft, and tell a modern tale, covering every emotion in the spectrum, avoiding overt emotional manipulation, is something that puts me in awe.  visits to vegas are all about shows and movies.  last night we saw the movie “the big short”.  depressing as hell to see how greed and fraud rule the land, but not any surprise.  admittedly, i am no activist either.  we all do our part.  my part is to give love, inspiration, and provide awareness about the inner self.  you gotta choose your battles and decide where you want to live.  i choose to live in the middle.  balance being my mantra.  but that’s just me.  identities die, shift, transform too.  what i live for today, could be gone tomorrow.  not trying to hold on.  at the same time, commitments bring happiness and roots.  the balance is knowing everything is temporary, honoring change and the freedom to change, while at the same time, committing and planting roots.  if they get uprooted, die, or alter, so be it.  to be able to traverse life, with all of it’s misery, joy, and everything in between, in one’s own personal life, and humanity at large, is a giant task.  i got my addictions for sure, not very severe.  becoming good at balance.  but no expert.  equanimity grows each year.  yet i slip and fall often.  still trying to figure out some basics, even though my pulse beats to ancient wisdom.  it’s all of the above.  sometimes none of it.  what i am trying to say here is….this life named michelle, she dwells in a body that tempers all extremes, grows more aware and equanimous with the years, sheds plenty of tears, rolls into plenty of belly laughs, yet can still get overwhelmed by the enormity of the problems it’s up to us to fix here on earth currently.  just spoke about myself in third person. oh well.  sometimes annoying.  it’s been a while since i have been creative, that’s why.  i knew it was best not to blog, yet my commitment is to blog every day minus sundays if i want.  it’s not sunday and i am a man who sticks to my word.  i mean, a woman who is devoted.  both.  ok, enough.  need to drink some water, press play, and get on with it…