mash up letting go mix…

craziness.  middle of transformation.  loss of routine.  up until three.  off the mat day two.  taking two bags of stuff to good will.  talking to helen, my spirit guide.  she says to express the fear, feel the loss, and to remember it’s all love.  a reminder from above.  flourishing on the horizon.  amber to connect to the trees.  earth light.  turquoise to clean the heart, mind, body.  snow quartz to stay balanced.  onyx to keep the fear feeders away.  tears for loss.  learning to trust.  welcome to uranus opposing uranus.  early mid life crisis.  switch the word crisis with innovation, so long as the heart’s motivation remains rooted in truth.  love love love love love.  more than enough.  not blogging till the afternoon.  the storm of morning.  letting go of an identity.  letting go of the accouterments of that identity.   separating the tears of loss from fear tears.  what is it this time?  feeling raw and vulnerable, stemming from sudden change.  analyze it until it’s dead, allowing life as experience, to be the sage.  amazed at the difference between the mental image, and physical reality.  coping mechanisms of an older me.  learning how to live without regret.  and how to truly see.  soon, sunshine.  a car.  family.  yoga teacher training maybe.  talking to those who have passed on to the other side.  a quick ride and yet the road is long.  pineal gland opening.  a partner in sublime.  arms and rugs, the soul divine.  no more apple green walls and wifi passwords to rely upon.  goodbye to stools and sad songs.  avocado oil, the new moisturizer.  commitment stronger than ever.  small moments sparking up the long haul.  can’t remember my dreams at all.  vicarious living through a television show.  double americano.  for here another month or so.  giving eighteen videos and books away.  will never finish the tolstoy novel.  fleeting highs are insubstantial.  boring and dull after so many times going up and down.  playing all the roles.  not coming back here again.  living is my best friend.  forget about how it ends.  play innocent pretend.  let go of the man, the book, the success, the delivery, the four walls, the body and eventually….this life.  this beautiful life.  for one time only…