okay, i think the rain might be stopping. please, rain, go away, come again…well, you know what they say. i am afraid of turning into an urban weirdo hermit. perfectly content to edit photos, write, draw, watch videos, read, light candles, burn incense, stare out the window, make quesadilla, have a drink, do yoga, talk out loud to myself, connect to the invisible realms, pull cards, rearrange alters, sleep deep, and dream heavy all alone in my shell….i mean, my studio apartment. what the hell. this is winter, and the underworld beckons. would i rather my man be doing his thing alongside, and then to go to bed in his arms? sure thing. have i cried my eyes out from touch deprivation, but choose tears over a fill-in male body, cause it’s either real deal love, or nobody at all? yes, tears trump substitutions…but i got a big selenite wand to hold onto for now. if i was in florida, i would be living differently. extremely molded by the weather, i am. are you? but i like the rain and the hermiting. i like to be brought into the internal. if i lived in a warm place all the time, i might be much more body focused. maybe that could be good for a while too, though. the variety is great. feel like i am writing like a ten year old. for no reason. the sky is milky this morning. the buildings feel slightly perky. think they enjoy the rain. i guess it’s the new moon today. maybe that’s why i am being a kid in this blog. when i was a kid, i knew what i wanted, without any doubts or intellectual perceptions. wanna get back to that. obsessed with photo apps right now. photography on the brain. wanna take my slr camera out, once this rain has abstained. blah blah blah. not in the mood to write this blog, but doing it anyway. gotta get on the mat and calm down something fast moving in my brain. weird dreams last night. woke up saying to myself, “my dream life is richer than my waking life right now.” kinda cool….