shadow love and water..

last night’s workshop about journeying into the underworld, was my favorite one yet.  maybe because is was both heady and deep.  i taught from a philosophical place, sharing a conceptual model of the shadow i had built, which is fun ( i love building conceptual models)…and many added to the discussion, both on life itself and their relationship with stones, which made the workshop feel more like a round table.  i also admitted my deepest wound story and how it is expressed as my shadow persona, which took bravery and felt relieving almost, to be honest and open about my own pain, for the sake of guiding others into their pain.  before hand, i was grumpy as all hell, had a raging headache and wanted to run into a cave and hide.  but i faced my commitment, acted properly, and from this integrity, transformation occurred. powerful night.  came home and took a long epson salt, candle light bath, sinking deeply into water.  now it is morning, and a plumber is fixing my toilet that has been leaking into the apartment below.  water.  feelings.  bringing them up and out from the shadows.  integrating the demons back into the body, to find they are not demons at all.  demons are nothing more than tender hurting denied feelings.  ancient feelings, older than any particular life, passed down from generations of mothers and fathers, compounding, and unconsciously making our choices, which in turn make our personal stories, and it goes on an on.  you either contribute to the divide or contribute to healing it, whether you realize it or not.  healing the gap, is what i am doing, till death do i part.  sewing back together the divide is the day to day labor of love.  this is me, and for each of us there is a truth, this is only my version, even if the facts remain.  being inspired, still…by jordan peterson.  not only the information, providing me with roots, but also, his teaching style, how he speaks passionately from the mind.  i value the mind.  i value thoughts.  i value perspective and perception.  i value being human.  something in my shadow has been reintegrated.  it’s making me feel different about everything.  a certain rebellion for reality is ending.  big feelings emerge within the ordinary mundane…