this morning is different. taking a day off from yoga practice. going to a job interview. trying to find a narrator to the myth. disgusted with facebook. it’s just not right to go from cute animal pictures, to articles about killing threats, to somebody’s status update about their breakfast to…well, you get the idea. my heart is not willing to digest the rollercoaster. compassion is what i continue to build. all killers are born innocent babies. innocent babies are sculpted and brainwashed into killers. they have lost their lives to malevolence and cruelty, just as much as the people killed. it’s heartache for everybody. compassion is the only true way out, if we want to end the cycle once and for all. educated and reasonable steps to make positive changes rooted in deep caring for all humans, will only stem from compassion and understanding. love and compassion are not fluff. blame and hatred only perpetuates the divide that creates more violence. education needs to be in the realm of how psychological patterns are created. i hold this truth and radiate strength of love. more rain and wind for seattle. more violence and fanaticism for the world. saturn in sagittarius worse than i thought. i pray to the heart within every human. sacred animal. sacred human life. as you can see, it is still hard to blog about much else. the sky has that dishwater brown look to it. she’s tired and weary. the electric heat pumps out dry warmth, making clicking sounds, costing me too much. but i don’t feel depressed. i don’t feel down. i am polarizing as always. being a light in the shadows, being strength in the weakness. i am at my best when being this. not everybody is meant to skip through strawberry fields forever. listening to bill callahan, new obsession. there’s this country girl in me being fed. a desire for yellow fields, wide open plains, an old beat up truck, a big dog, blue grass, persistent sun, vast blue sky. romantic notions. meanwhile i put on my nice shirt and prepare to walk up the hill and back down, through buildings and among the cars, the smokers, the delivery drivers. here for another day of life.