good morning blog. unexpectedly got an interview for an instructional assistant at an elementary school this morning, that if hired, would keep me very close to where i live now, just a bit to the northeast. i am open. really enjoyed my one year working in an elementary, tutoring kids. felt like working for a village, and that makes sense to my soul. where as when i work with money, it does not. interesting how i have no desire to be a mom or raise kids, but i feel called to help kids in an educational sense, as a guide. not sure what this looks like in detail. could be a teacher’s aide, or could be writing a children’s book, or could be both, or something i cannot see or understand yet. an interview gets things started at the very least. if i am hired i will know. been feeling called to write for young adults. bought a young adult novel i am waiting to read for the bolt bus when i go to portland again. my entire mentality and creative urges have been gearing towards youth lately. from elementary all the way through high school. my heart, as i get older, is drawn toward youth, because getting older makes me care more about seeding the future for this planet, which means helping kids, as death gets closer and closer for me. i know i am still only 43, but if i get a good long life, 43 means i am just about half way done. time for a big change in perception. callings return. i had let go of this job position cause it had been so long, and nothing else was showing up. still open to portland too. i don’t want to get stuck in seattle due to a job. yet to be honest, i still love seattle more. i would stay here for a job, especially at the right place, that feels like my second home. lately other readers have been reflecting to me that portland is better, but it still does not feel right to me, nor do those card pulls. i have even been considering tacoma, everett, and bellingham over portland, which is odd, cause i have good friends in portland, but washington means a lot to me. i cannot tell if it’s an attachment i need to let go of, or hold onto. time will tell. a great job would decide and trump. the right job is very important to me. it’s all about the pentacles. the north node just went into virgo for two years, for us all (which means it’s time to focus on work, routine, structure, order, health, purification, bringing ideals into fruition through practical work, focusing on the details…while being wary of the south node pisces trend to be a dreamer only, letting all boundaries go, wishing to escape, dwelling in sentiment, and hoping to be saved by some external force or person, and letting those urges go.) my progressed sun is in capricorn too, which is all about building in the world. i want roots, i want to build. for as much as i long for partnership, life purpose edges just a hair above, in need. for me, working is what makes me feel happy. purposeful work, that is. heartfelt work. lately i have hardly been writing, and that’s because without knowing where i am headed, i struggle with feeling worry and this gets in the way. worry is a block. i am the opposite of the cliche artist. it is happiness that makes me produce, not suffering. and when i am in between lives and homes, i don’t feel happy. i maintain equanimity, use my tools, so grateful for that, though the production of creative work is low. a client yesterday told me about this super artistic apartment building in tacoma, where the manager is a healer, and that sounds amazing too, right up my alley. but tacoma is so random. though you never know where the flourishing will take place. maybe it’s this job and moving only a few miles away, or maybe it’s tacoma, or maybe it’s portland, or maybe it’s…..? feeling very earnest in my intentions these days. meaningful purpose and growing metaphorical (and literal?) gardens is what i crave. an artistic looking place could also bring emptiness if i don’t belong. it’s a time for me to pay attention to feelings, not aesthetics. feeling rooted inside, to this mission. fortified. now all i need is synchronicity and serendipity to make it so. this interview is a bit of that. no matter what happens, it gets the flow flowing. time will reveal all the things. the new moon brings new life, a practical seeding of new dreams. what are your dreams?