friday’s thoughts like pebbles…

another neighbor is moving out this morning, causing me to feel sad, even though i don’t know him.  my turn to move too, but not quite yet.  almost.  i’ll never forget this four year stint.  watching some friends come and go.  while a few have stayed here as long as me.  i’m not usually one to watch people go.  no wonder i needed to.  something has to bring me deeper in.  wandering around the hill last night, after writing long, in a sort of creative sleep, wishing for warmth that never arrived, using the city scape as sublimation, talking to the lit up buildings.  overwhelm striking me like lightening for vulnerability.  children, the elderly, animals.  how the stronger are capable of abusing the weaker.  brought on by a facebook meme about tickling the slow loris being torture.  such profound sensitivity.  why are all these new people starting to follow me on instagram, i wondered, taking mind off of the vulnerability of being flesh and blood.  online this and online that.  meanwhile, my soul is steeping in the mysteries and components of the illusion.  listening to gabe and getting downloads of what’s going on.  always here for me, the spirit ones.  just like the clouds…this morning, silvery and refreshed after a night of rain.  doing laundry again before a run.  and it’s true, the most fun thing i have done this week, is run.  the smile and levity that grips me about half way in, simply from bouncing through nature heavy neighborhoods, listening to songs.  keep thinking about portland and how much love i feel there.  i am only one of the few left without a partner.  everybody is nestled away in their marriages and relationships.  it’s the thing to do here on earth as a human.  some of these unions are rocky, some cozy, but one thing for sure, it’s never easy.  i don’t mind.  it’s become easy on the single side.  easy to do whatever i feel and not compromise.  easy to be alone.  every karma created, a tether, taking us down from our stellar throne.  time to drink a second cup of coffee before getting clothes from the dryer.  look.  a blue sky is slowly descending into the sleepy brown grey, the way love descends into a tired heart.  it’s gonna be a great day….