tidbit thoughts on mercury day…

foggy sky.  foggy mind.  quiet and deep.  coffee and oatmeal.  heat on.  nothing to say.  nothing on the mind.  but i keep typing, for the practice.  listening to a song about getting old on the iTunes radio.  wondering if incense will bring the energy up.  will for sure be forcing myself outside for a jog this morning.  impetus is to crawl deep into the earth.  don’t wake me.  moods.  they pass.  sorrow this morning.  low level sorrow.  not for any reason.  just sitting there like clouds.  the jog will make it pass.  being human gets easier with time.  you learn that you have a mind that thinks thoughts that are not you.  that your heart feels feelings that guide you but sometimes you don’t need to pay much attention to, cause it’s just like weather.  you learn that disappointment is as natural as getting wrinkles is as natural as losing is as natural as breathing.  i am breathing.  i am this breath.  life, i love you.  life, how did you make me this michelle character?  life, i feel so free within your womb that is this earth.  freedom is not found in getting what i want, it’s found in discovering the vast imagination streaming through this body and putting it to the page and screen.  we all have our thing.  i wanna co-write a television show.  i want to write the myth and the book about love.  there’s a laziness to always be aware of.  it’s very natural.  it’s like a deep desire to be a tree, not move, not do, but just experience life completely still, and to live for hundreds or thousands of years.  must swim upstream from this desire.  doing is the way.  coffee helps.  i love how the red bricks looks against the pale foggy sky.  a solid heavy structure containing a hundred minds inside, all with daily agendas, set against an agenda-less sky, allowed to be itself without repercussions.  one day not too far in the future, i won’t have this view anymore.  i wonder when that will be, and where i will be living next?  but for as far as i know, today will be much like the rest.  i don’t want to assume.  spaceships could land, among other life changing events.  for better or for worse, life, i love you.