quiet….

wrote another poem under the Blue Jay Poetry tab, click here: https://michellebloom.com/blue-jay-poetry/ if you are interested in poetry.  i wish i could make it a blog roll also, but wordpress only allows for one blog roll, and it makes sense for me to keep it on the actual blog.  back to the silky grey sky this morning.  feeling extra tired.  very little to talk about.  nothing is happening in my head or outside of my body.  going through the motions: wake up, make breakfast and coffee, check email and social media, job seek, write blog, pull cards, work out, shower, eat lunch, job seek, write, run errands, paint…you get the idea.  on the inside it’s like the exact same thing: don’t invest in thoughts about being not good enough, or on men who don’t treat you with respect, or on subjects that bring you down, visualize positive outcomes but remember it’s the journey that counts, reframe perceptions while allowing real feelings to come out, master the mind, keep the heart open, you get the idea.  very dry.  very dull.  very boring.  sometimes that’s life.  no romance, no passion, no late nights, no succulence.  a whole wheat loaf of bread.  a nicely growing garden.  a cup of tea.  at least disaster is not striking.  knock on wood.  though the one thing in my life that is not acting like a new moon in virgo, is how psychic i have been…with my clients last night it was all clairvoyance, which is rare, and i have been experiencing the very thin veil.  to be honest this usually scares me.  not feeling the other dimensions or the clairvoyance, but the fear that i will not be able to touch ground anymore.  it’s just a fear, don’t invest in it.  if this increases it will be my duty to do readings full time as a business, i suppose.  either that or something spiritual for work.  i think about kd, whom i relate to so much, and how his path did not become clear (in the western sense) until he was 47.  and his work is spiritual.  i wonder if mine will be too.  i mean, the writing and painting will never stop, neither will me giving readings, i just wonder if there is more?  i know there is more.  i just don’t know in what direction.  i have been feeling a big call to children lately.  or youth, from like 5 to 16.  i have gotten this calling before, and never did anything about it, confused.  i still am.  i apply to jobs in schools, to see if this is it.  all i know is there is a calling.  we shall see.  some people have such succinct stories of listening to intuition and everything working out in this very magical stream lined type of way.  doesn’t seem that way for me.  always there is this complication.  but maybe like kd, i am just getting in my own way.  and so i keep one eye on the saboteur.  calling out to baba, and feeling him.  calling out to all my family on the other side, to help.  i feel so humbled sometimes.  don’t know what my story line will be between now and death.  but i surrender.  this is all i know how to do….