lighthouse blog…

working on a painting right now that is a verb.  the verb of my life.  i also started a poetry page on this site.  if you like my writing style, and you like poetry…check out the tab “blue jay poetry”.  first poem is already up.  just more creative expression to keep the fires churning.  applying for jobs in schools now.  i wonder if i will be part of a school soon?  it feels so right.  the sun is out and bright again today, blue skies, mountain and water seen from my window in the distance.  i haven’t much to say.  been spending a large amount of time alone and it’s making me more introverted by the day.  last night i spent lip syncing with headphones, candles lit, writing poems, painting, researching, till i plopped into bed at 10 pm, freezing.  my place gets so cold, so i walk around with scarves and sweaters on, not wanting to spend money on heat.  i figure at least i am burning off more calories.  a desire of luxury (from the point of view of many who do not get enough to eat, not from the well-off who would think i am living like the poor.)  today is soul reading day.  mercury’s day too.  i am really struggling to have things to say.  almost went to the poetry slam last night but did not want to leave my abode.  one of these tuesdays i am gonna do it.  life feels quite boring right now, which is a blessing sometimes.  not bad boring, as i am filling my time with many endeavors.  but boring in the sense that i am not bubbling over with mental activity.  oh right, mercury is going retrograde, i plum forgot. no wonder.  being the mercurial person i am, when it gets retrograde i feel so quiet inside.  there is no story marching its way through my consciousness trying to take over.  no theories inspiring my tongue.  feelings are receding.  not tortured by unrequited or missing love (today).  a feeling of agency so strong.  like, being a lighthouse on an empty sea.  this is me.  today.  finis.