just another freedom realized…

some form of liberation process is happening.  speaking my truth, knowing what i truly need, and how i truly feel.  a transparency.  fear for sure.  how do i take myself to a new home with no car and very little money?  can i find a new way of making money?  will this world support a new chapter of my life?  yes.  walking through the city streets, wishing i was walking through the tall green trees.  aching for the sweetness.  it’s all grist i tell her.  the strength card.  every moment turning a mud ball into a pearl.  yoga to open.  meditation to let go.  showing up with heart to each moment.  a creature with blond streaks.  missing my black curls.  tired of the tan already.  restless.  a sail on a boat in a sea trapped in a mote outside a castle made of sand.  is the feeling sometimes.  yes, water.  bainbridge island.  maybe that’s where i live.  wanting a new home more than anything, a lot these days.  being patient cause home is this body.  sounding redundant, words dripping like honey.  life is a mirror.  all of my clients are in the middle of change too.  do i go here or here, they ask?  the universe speaks to them of choices.  boldly i say that this wall of fate shall be climbed.  the miracle moment is the one in which we decide.  to stop externalizing the power source.  to listen to within.  within is the god.  when i tap in i feel destiny.  or rather, i sense this time line of life from outside of the time line.  this is why i am a tarot reader i guess.  cause i travel time lines.  but it does not make it easier.  we must choose.  do you choose from fear?  or do you choose from a deeper place where heart quietly mentions expansion and contentment?  i choose the latter.  even if it means saying goodbye.  even if it means setting myself up to hurt.  you know the greatest thing about having a broken heart is that there’s nothing left to break.  hurt doesn’t hurt anymore.  freedom in fully knowing each time hurt happens it’s simply the karma of hearts dancing with each other.  taking nothing personally.  even the most profound injustices and insults. surrendering to exactly the way things are, while making them different best i can.  feels so fucking good to have one hand in acceptance while the other builds from wisdom….not like the olden days where one hand was making a false refuge while the other was putting myself down.  true love is growth.  as i listen to the sounds of the city outside my open window…the machine, the siren, an airplane, a truck being unloaded, a mentally ill man yelling….i find the sweet nectar inside, and breathe.  need to sing these feelings.  need to creatively release, into something new….