full moon drama…

so last night, ligia and i hung out under the near full moon, leaning against her car in my parents community, taking pictures.  from our viewpoint, we could see a row of lit up palm tree heads popping up over roof tops.  above the bright green palm tree heads, bats flew wildly in circular patterns.  and above the bats….a glorious almost full moon floated, bathed in a wet yellow haze.  perfect desert night time temperature of about eighty five degrees.  breeze blowing through our hair, the only sound.  we took out our phones and began shooting pics.  and there she was…again.  this happened on the aquarius full moon too.  i was in seattle, shooting with my fancy slr camera, at some food truck festival.  so it’s not the camera.  it’s me.  because she did not show up in ligia’s camera.  she…the orb.  at first the orb was blue, then it turned lavender.  i took both pics and videos.  there she was.  i used ligia’s camera, there she was.  ligia used her camera, there she was not.  she would not appear when ligia was taking the pics.  what is this?  my personal moon orb?  why me?  who else can make it appear?  no answers will come of this.  only more mystery.  might as well not use thinking to “figure it out”.  went to bed happy.  she makes me happy to see her, i guess.  woke up before six am, completely rested on six hours of sleep.  joey the cat woke up disturbed.  hiding under her box.  we thought it was only because my mom is leaving for virginia tomorrow and took out her suitcase, initiating joey’s sorrows.  but there was more to it.  for when we went out on the patio, joey walked up to my mom, crying a new kind of cry.  a don’t touch me cry, a fearful cry.  we walked over to where she was sitting and discovered some form of mush on the cement.  guts?  you really could not tell what the greenish pinkish soft goopy mass was.  my mom cleaned it up with windex, and we searched the rocky bed for dead animal remains.  as we did this, joey followed, becoming more fearful.  she hissed at me and cried like hell had broken loose in the yard, shrinking and cowering.  we noticed the gate was open.  some creature had come into the yard last night, killed something, and left.  only the mystery guts, the size of a strawberry, remained.  this is what i mean by vegas being a magical and painful place.  things happen here like that.  things logic cannot make sense of.  things that make my heart feel wild.  if i ever have to move back here, it would be this magic i cling to….and the pain, what i write from.  mother earth, i am your keeper.  (not sure where that sentence came from).  on a different note, yesterday we watched “the secret life of marilyn monroe,” and i cried so hard for her pain.  kept wondering, who was more tortured, marilyn or kurt?  it’s a stupid thought, but i found myself obsessing over it.  i decided it was marilyn.  they almost have the same spirit though, cept that marilyn always wore a mask and kurt always ripped the masks down.  but they both experienced emotions acutely, sensitive to the world, feeling unloved and unwanted, rejected and abandoned.  instead of healing, both found false refuge in drugs, which killed them both in the end.  these two icons represent so many people who live the same life, in forty two million different ways.  marilyn and kurt lived it in the famous beautiful adored by the masses way….but it’s not much different than the unnoticed joe and jane type of way…when you get down to the root.  broken family, tortured psyche, drugs leading to unnecessary death.  there’s many types of broken created, depending on the culture and person.  in america the broken family, tortured psyche, drugs that lead to unnecessary death version of broken, is abundant.  nature creates all sorts of dramas, and only human nature has the free will to take it to the next level.  you don’t see rejected coyotes addicted to drugs, sitting in bars, wearing designer clothes, adorning the cover of magazines, building skyscrapers, making art, studying the universe, deciding what the meaning of life is, driving cars, shitting in toilets, writing food reviews, ringing up customers, mopping italian tiled floors, flying to other countries, making up religions, predicting the future, acting in movies, taking instagram pictures, marrying each other, and….well, you get the idea.  these are the things i am thinking about…and this is full moon drama…