cancer moon tender bits…

feeling uber sensitive.  it’s scary.  returning to vegetarian eating feels so right in my soul, and it really catapults me into a state of extreme tenderness and vulnerability, psychism and feeling everything without borders.  i get worried.  but this time, i wont invest in the worry.  i will watch it pass like clouds.  and i will cry when i need to, feel scared when it arises, and learn how to be the very emotional sensitive creature this body is, in this life, and use it as a strength.  luckily my mind is as strong as this heart, like a zoomed out bird.  learning new ways of being.  not gonna “densify” with meat.  can’t densify with anything that is not love.  meat can be love sometimes, but not to me, it makes no sense to me.  i want to eat colors.  i want to eat light.  anyhow, it’s gonna be alright, even if my dreams are revealing to me imbalance.  there’s something to be said about faith, and allowing the course of time to be a friend.  how talking to maharaji comforts me, feeling him in the spirit world like a soul-father.  knowing we are always connected…all of us.  all one.  the sensitive feeling can be used to connect to this, and not to the violence and reactive pain of this world’s delusion of separation.  it’s hard.  but i am all about generating love to deluge all areas where love has been forgotten.  the fog just cleared and the sun is coming out, outside…mirroring the acceptance i feel.  funny how writing clears the fog.  longing for true love again.  i know how it comes…in waves.  just keep reminding myself of kd’s remark about longing being all we have.  that poetic sentiment cementing longing to love…it’s love’s call, and there’s everything right about it.  patience might be a virtue i struggle with, but i am learning.  it’s all learning here in this realm.  the wounds have vanished and been replaced by seeds growing into stalks and little buds.  i look forward to the blossoming of harmonious love shared with my consort.  and if he never remembers it’s me, this body will still die complete.  every heavy feeling is carried in a hot air balloon into the luscious sky for revival….and brought to the core of earth to birth again…