wanna know how i’m having fun this friday night? listening to binaural beats to unlock my dna and release old emotional patterning, while drinking white lotus seventh chakra tea (with goats milk and honey), pulling cards, holding my aragonite (which is like a star that turned into a stone), and listening to the universe. oh, and writing too. in the ashram tonight. but who knows where i will be tomorrow. following heart in the moment. no strict rules. it’s feeling right to stop eating meat. will see how this goes. heart says no to dead animals in the tummy, unless it is hunted or gifted. heart needing the driver’s seat right now. opening, opening. with the hair cut off, the past is cut off, and who i am now, is more honest, more real and raw…in areas where’s there’s always been trouble. intimacy fear matching intimacy fear, but on two different levels, stemming from two different hurts. letting this go. open like a little flower bud at spring’s very first blink. imbolc upon us. planting tiny seeds. scabs falling off. shaking like a newborn pup…dreaming like a woman born from a lapis. i can’t turn infinity into three, is what i said earlier at work today. there’s a vagueness in the air. mars in pisces. along with it, a desire to leave thoughts tattering in the wind like prayer flags. she said tonight that saturn is the filter from the collective, into the personal soul. felt it. felt how laughter is my core. taking nothing serious is my core. i am very serious about this, is my core. my core is love and love is not serious but it is too, it’s like….if i could just open a little bit more, this new color wants to shine through. that is neither serious or not serious. craving to milk a cow, ride a horse, walk through a big grassy field, lay in a canoe, and eat blackberries right from the bushes. sick of the city, but i can do it. i can walk on concrete from box to box, where things, food, and services sell themselves to hungry buyers needing various refills. oh no, i have zoomed too far out, and am talking like a stoic robot. come back in, to the toes! downward dog. child’s pose. happy baby. indecisive maybe. libra moon wafts through the field, hoping to be caught by a beautiful, romantic, polite, diplomatic, and truth baring container. our moons….our moons…oh luna, you have us in your gravity with light diffused. moon tonight was amber, sitting low, sleepy, right before putting on her aries costume by morning. tomorrow will be fire. was thinking…how fire feels like my grandmother. so does spider. ok, thoughts are unraveled. not sure how to end this…as usual. goodbye? i love you.