sun, i love…

today is the new moon scorpio solar eclipse, and a bunch of other intense star stuff day.  boy do i feel it…had to rush home at exactly 2:57, stare into the sky, feel nature speak to me and pull cards.  the high priest comes out this day, this cycle.  where as the high priestess rules feelings and wisdom through direct experience…the high priest rules mental understanding, and applying it toward earthly life, in the world.  what have i learned as of late?  first, to often take sea salt and essential oil baths on new and full moons.  this morning’s bath was earthy and sweet.  patchouli, rose, vetivert, plum blossom, fir balsam.  was lucky to have the day off, and allowed my instincts to guide.  that’s the second thing i have learned as of late…whenever you don’t have to be some place, allow the moment to guide your instincts, so that life can move through you.  be open and in the flow.  at least for me, cause this i how i create.  it takes ten hours of meandering, contemplating and sacred solitude, to write two pages, to paint one painting.  remember this.  the third, and most important thing i have learned, as of late…it to trust myself, and trust what i need, without the guilt, without comparing….be brave and give myself what i need…do not fall into the ole rabbit holes of either over-serving and mothering others, or of isolating myself from the world completely.  split the time up between creative and worldly, make the ratio 75/25 in the fall and winter, and reverse that for spring and summer, or something like that.  honor the structure.  also, keep practicing letting go.  don’t take it personally, the behavior of others.  never say the phrase, “it’s just the way it is,”  but say all the time, “it is what it is,” knowing the latter implies acceptance felt by heart, while the former is a rationalization to avoid what is scary and painful.  confront what is scary and painful at all times, when it’s necessary, and repeat, “i am the change i wish to see,” or something like this.  cause the shaking puppy in the corner syndrome is washing away with this new moon.  ok, enough of the lessons.  right this very moment, the sun is coming out from its solar eclipse cloudy shroud, and shining golden yellow right into my hands, as i type (love west facing windows).  i hear the angels singing, no wait, that’s the sound of my heater.  just kidding.  no need to minimize the power of sun de-robing, ending her partial merge with moon.  their shadow infused hot pink light into the puddles on the street from down pouring rain.  feels like i am being stamped by their shadow.  this day stamps itself into the memory banks…becoming a poem or a dream.  that was the first feeling felt as i tuned into the new moon eclipse, staring out the window at the silvery sky, as a creamy white fog rolled in, covering the water’s visibility.  said out loud to the greying light, smudging away the city’s detail, “you look like a dream…not ominous, but new and unfamiliar…”