ode to autumn…

you know that episode of “sex and the city,” where they have to do a vibrator intervention on charlotte?  well…i think my friends might need to do a krishna das intervention on me soon.  all i want to do when i get home from the day, is listen to krishna das on repeat, while i write, chant, and finally dream….over and over and over….it’s keeping me filled with a feeling of such love, my heart is dissolving into Heart, nothing compares….so….see ya on the other side?  loved being at work today.  felt passion serving them, and they mirrored me, as life always tends to do.  love using my new deck.  it speaks to me without effort, and the art work is beautiful, potent, saturated in color.  want to paint hanuman as the six of swords, yet cannot seem to muster up how to paint anymore.  everything is emerald and fir balsam, in my world of baba hanuman solitude and community where i play the role of a reluctant healer and devotee of vajra.  missing the muse.  waking up to heavy sorrow like molasses coated in iron sitting on the bottom of the sea…with honor i saunter around the hill, weighted and slow, loving by allowing…uncomfortable everywhere.  saying to myself in the cafe, “be at peace with this contrast somehow.”  chirp chirp chirp.  unpacking stones with her.  emerald changing my energy in two minutes after putting one in my bra.  sorrow evaporates as quick as a rainstorm ending.  it’s not work when it’s devotion.  Heart takes over.  none of it my own or in my bed.  burning agarwood.  watching my floating head create thought bubbles.  eating chocolate covered almonds.  an apple for the coming autumn.  making our way back.  walking down the steps into the underworld.  looking inside after looking outward for spring and summer months.  poof, it’s gone.  a yellow dandelion turns fuzzy and is blown to soft bits by a mouth full of wishes…