wafting tidbits from the day…

creamy drink, you nurture first thing in the morning and last thing before bed…

each day i look back upon feels like it sped by…

writing makes the time go fast…

always a need to escape…

got this wild nature.  transfer it into creativity, cause the soul-animal is not free to express how she pleases…

vegetables, rice, and chicken.  lemurian quartz and pyrite.  

the man with turquoise eyes says, “contentment is no longer struggling with your surroundings, because you’ve made peace on this inside.”

i made peace in new york city of all places.  telling the story to her today, reminded me, that in all of my explorations, from psychology to spiritual whatever (insert practice here), only the practice of mediation brought me peace.

it’s actually not the meditation that brings me peace, and god it’s been so long since i practiced…it’s what happened in a meditation, in my very first meditation, that changed who i am forever.

for, in that meditation, i felt who i am as my breath, and really saw how my thoughts are not me, and felt my thoughts not being me…

and with this realization and the intense feeling of it, the story of suffering slithered down the drain of my being, and recycled itself back into the invisible realms…

this is not to say i have not taken a dive back into the story being my heart’s eyes, and fallen…i am fallen right now.  i am living inside my story.  i see it.

and i am working my way back to letting go.

this time, it’s taking some effort.  unlike the instant magic way it happened in new york city.

and also, sometimes the story wants to be honored and analyzed, indulged, and understood.  i am flexible in allowing myself to include all paradigms…except the paradigm of not accepting paradigms….

myth is beautiful, majestic, and alive…too.

and there are new lessons to learn…

rise from the comfort of non-conflict and create it when you need to speak up.  be direct.  open.  transparent.  can you?

when two people are a mismatch it’s nobody’s fault.  if i want to not have my sun salutations taken away i can try saying something or find a new studio.  if i want to paint large in a basement and have a house, well….it shall manifest, and if not, i will continue to be a chirping sparrow in her nest…

and what can i do for community?  and for the world?  teach about stones, guide the mind through confusion, give what i know, love with all my heart.  write this myth down, and stay devoted to art…

love will surprise me this time…the scared feeling will be invigorating and i shall exfoliate fear with the healing salt of my tears…making a…

puddle clear as an alaskan lake.  i feel like alaska a little bit.  pure and strong, and a bit hidden from heavy population…

listening to electronic instrumental nursery music as i wonder how i will conquer writing a science fiction book.  i can do it.  i shall build a world from my imagination…

feeding the love wolf…honoring the limitation of time…