aquarius full moon unedited spew…

there’s too much to say…unleashed, unhinged, come this way.  newness.  the ancient lock opening.  the dire fading.  forgiveness washing over me.  walking through the park alone, having conversations with trees.  turquoise tiger shirt and tight jeans.  leaving crystals in the mud.  no yoga for five days.  i got mad at it.  but i am not mad anymore.  lesson learned: don’t do this amount of classes in that amount of days challenges.  leaves a sour taste in my mouth.  gotta be in my flow.  and when mooning on the full moon aquarius, it’s about letting go of the routine and structure that’s sewn me together…having a little too much food and drink, nature walks, being up late, sleeping till nine thirty am, wearing white, feeling beautiful again. it’s been a long time.  don’t always feel beautiful in spiritual warrior release the old story mode.  do i need to go back in?  autumn is coming up.  but i don’t feel a descent, or like putting armor on.  i am letting go of letting go of the old story.  maybe letting go of being a spiritual warrior too, and listening to my body instead.  a balmy breeze cascades into my window as i type these words cascading into my head.  reflecting on how i had to break up while still in love with him, and how hard that is to do.  i am the king of swords when the queen of cups speaks.  i do what i know is right in my heart, even when it hurts to the point where i have to use stormy force, like the way a tornado can rip a tree from the earth, by it’s roots.  a talent and a curse, and a blessing, and it is what it is.  love is what it will be.  sixty pages came out of me like a banshee this past week at the new magical cafe.  after a two year dry spell.  no, after a ten year dry spell, on this particular subject.  somehow we all play a part in the unfolding of what wants out from the collective unconscious, from spirit, from the longing.  muses help.  craving a house so bad, so i can make really big art.  need more space.  need house.  unga bunga.  wanted this painting from good will the size of a wall, so i could paint on top of it, a cave woman painting.  feeling cave woman like crazy.  finding the real sex appeal in the root of who i am as a female.  telepathic instinctual emotional raven haired wild eyed sensitive desirous she.  hairy and emotional we.  the original vision revised and restored.  i don’t want you to get bored.  lets dive in and live the myth we create in the moment, because it’s our birth right.  the wheat colored stalks under blue sky and hot sun baking into me.  that yellow dry.  shungite in the water.  all the eyes of the trees welcoming me.  petting heavy maple leaves swaying in the wind, noticing blotches on them like broken out skin.  are you ok?  give healing.  pour shungite water into roots, and over hands.  keep giving healing.  took my camera.  an orb wanted to be caught.  two nights in a row under the full moon.  first night alone among a crowd.  second night under a willow tree, on the water, with a dear friend.  absorbing her light.  feeling her enter my bloodstream, adding flecks of silver.  the journey he led tonight.  how deep we all went.  the mountain we climbed.  the surface i got to.  renaming myself.  and how we made it rain, thunder, and lightning…feeding our mother land with all the old wounds….