return ramble on the dawning of the age and personal stuff.

men, stop using women as fuck objects to satiate your pleasure.  women, stop using men to validate your sense of self worth.  problem solved.

we women need to stand up for ourselves.  what does this mean?  and why?

it means we need to feel love for who we are, our bodies, our minds, our souls, and to not be afraid to be who we are, and not need approval or an outside yes to feel like we can smile.

sometimes this manifests as a lesson.

outside validation is removed, find it yourself.

sometimes you get so much outside validation it makes others jealous.  you become dependent on it like a baby, it then becomes a drug, you get hooked, and you lose yourself completely….as you’ve been shattered into a million pieces, held within the iris vase of every single eye that gazes upon you with awe and disgust…

oh i know where this is coming from…

i watched the grammy awards last night.  that’s why i am talking like this too.  merging animal and spirit through the lens of current american culture.

i noticed, while overdosing on television this past week in vegas…how women are always portrayed as hoochie mamma gift wrapped presents on tv…with their veneer of color soaked glistening make-up coating the face, stilts for heels (made by a nameless worker in china who earned a nickel that day for twelve hours of uncomfortable work, and sold for five hundred dollars at bloomingdales….((and somehow this is ok?)), wearing short shiny gift wrap dresses catching the light, legs poking out like shiny banisters, hair a waterfall of luster just like ribbons on a present…the whole package is there…and it’s weird to me.

i think to myself, what do the other life forms think of us?

what do the intelligent aliens think of us?  they see us stuck in this grey wire but glittering, trying to mimic the stars….they see us not getting the message over and over and over as things get worse…

but they are also…getting better.

people are getting it….and by that i mean, the mean prejudice tyrannical fear mongering bullies who rule over the selfless humbled slaves-i mean servants, who think they are worthless and therefor give all their power away to some external power source like it’s a good thing…that whole paradigm…is ending.  slowly…it is, i know it is.

my dreaming eyes wont stop dreaming.

and you do see it in culture too…you see people talking about equal rights, wanting love and fair treatment for all of life, psychological awareness is on the rise, and being a beautiful individual snowflake is becoming more common place, more innate…some people make fun of that, thinking it’s bad to highlight each person’s unique specialness, but not me….i think it’s beneficial toward creating world harmony and personal happiness…i think most people suffer from low self esteem and shouldn’t…while those who turn into arrogant assholes when treated special are in the massive minority…even if they are louder and we notice them more.

or maybe there are more of those asshole types in movies and tv shows, where the characters are made up?

wait, maybe i’m not accurate…maybe it’s my little  bubble i am speaking from…i am accurate about the bubble of experience i have lived in…though i do intuit that many people don’t believe in themselves or truly value who they are…i mean, why else would we be obsessed with celebrities and royalty?  they are our repressed self worth over aggrandized to make up for the lack inside…they are our own secret desires exploited.

so many of us feel invisible or unhappy with who we are, unable to believe in what we believe.

we all have our way of seeing things.  certain ways i want to slay.  ways that harm life.  ways that oppress life.  ways that use life.  i want to slay those ways.  yet i also understand my personal lesson of letting go of grasping.  i do not want to act from the frenzy of anger in reaction to injustice and pain.  i’ve been doing that for over two thousand years.  that way is over.  it is time now for a new way…

and that way is the dawning of the…

individual who must learn to love and value him and herself from within, and stand up to what he or she does not deserve.

it is the dawning of the age of the individual not using other individuals anymore for his or her gain, at the expense of the other individual.

it is the dawning of a universal manifesto, human rights restored because the main vein is caring, loving, and respectful and those things don’t need to be questioned anymore.

but we must learn this ourselves.  because the self must reign, and from the blossoming self forms the rose bush governments that truly care for us.  (what we have now is not this…)

i am rambling…i just got home from vegas, so much is on my mind, and in my heart…

i love my family so much it hurts.  the only way to relieve the pain of loving them so much, is to write this blog…it’s stopped me from crying more than i ought to… but when i’m leavin on a jet plane and don’t know when i’ll be back again…the tears will fall.