soulmates…

the topic is: soulmates…

recently a friend sent me a song about two people being made for one another.  great song…and then i got stuck on the sentiment, thinking…i don’t believe in that.  i don’t feel that two people are ever made for one another literally, past the feeling of it….

as souls living multiple lives, we meet and form relationships, sometimes with those who come from the same soul-pod as us in the spirit world, sometimes with new souls we have never met as individuals, sometimes the relationship is so mutually strong between two lovers-they never want to stop making love to one another, sometimes two people get co-dependent on one another, sometimes delusion is the glue between two people, sometimes the friendship is so strong you don’t need to use words, sometimes you teach one another vital life lessons and it’s painful and powerful….there is so many variations of how two people form relationships over lifetimes….

yet none of them are made to be a certain way…because the universe is creative and living as a verb in the moment…we are always free to create, destroy, and re-create…

as for romantic love….i don’t believe true love is a destined thing…i believe it’s a thing that happens when two people feel the same in love feeling for one another, they share the same values, can learn to communicate with honesty and without being defensive, and really like one another and enjoy being together…

some never have that kind of love.  some settle for the security of having a partner by their side over being alone.  some people can’t stand the person they are with, but they love them so much they cannot leave them…or they’ve become too afraid to leave, too dependent on them to define who they are, or provide a sense of home….some people stay in abusive or destructive relationships cause the sex is great, or the passion is addictive, some people mistake obsession for love, and co-dependency for passion…some people are in boring or unhappy unions in order to raise kids or because the friendship is strong and familiar and they don’t want to break the storyline…

the variety is endless….and all romantic relationships that have any impact on the self, are soulmate relationships…

soulmates are why we are here…to learn about ourselves, to learn how to love, to learn how to say no and how to say yes, to learn self worth, unconditional love, boundaries, forgiveness, kindness, how to be rational and listen to logic, how to be emotional and listen to heart…we learn about discernment, we learn not to lose ourselves in another person, we learn how to let somebody all the way in, we learn intimacy, we learn how to heal from heart break, we learn to love sexually, we learn to see the other for who they are not who we wish them to be, we learn who we really are too….

and we also destroy and make mistakes, regret, get with the wrong people, blind ourselves, project, put the other on a pedestal, treat each other poorly, treat ourselves poorly, grieve, hurt, get angry, sad, and remorseful….both the good and the bad feelings that stem from relationships are par for the course in having soulmates here on earth…where life is a learning curve….and we are faced always with the challenge to grow, stagnate, or destroy our potential and our capacity to love…

it’s all about choices..we choose, we learn, we create karma, we hurt, we heal…we learn how to love and what kind of love we need, what we deserve, and how to be happier if we so choose to be on the path of awareness…

and self love is huge…because how many of us look for another to love what we cannot love in ourselves?  and to the other extreme, self absorbed people who cannot see beyond their own faults and glories, are learning how to love without all the pride and expectations.  we learn how to stop manipulating and controlling.  we learn how to be more gentle, bold, honest, transparent and naked to ourselves, to others, to life itself…this is the task of being alive, of being a soul, of being here…

when i think about the next great love coming into my life…i don’t think he is the be-all-end all of my existence, the man made for me, the love to smudge out all other loves.  i suppose my libra moon is too rational and balanced for that.  yet i am also a romantic who wants to lose my head in the feeling of intimacy, for that is the beauty of romantic love.  what i am talking about is more conceptual…

i don’t see him as written in the stars for me.  i think of him as being the equal love.  i have spent the last twenty years healing, growing, learning self worth, boundaries, honesty….to the point where i truly feel done with healing my past, re-birthed, whole, and ready to embrace intimacy with a true equal…somebody who is on my level emotionally and mentally, where the physical attraction is mutual and on fire, our value systems match up, we communicate with maturity and understanding, and we really like each other.

i would like to spend the next cycle of my life enjoying this equal romantic relationship…and not using romantic relationship as a mirror to see my wounds and heal them as i have done in the past.  for as within, so without…whatever is denied and unhealed in the self will manifest itself as a relationship in the physical world….

i feel self acceptance course through me for my flaws, weaknesses, tribulations…and i am ready to give this acceptance to another…

whomever he is….i am calling him into being….and i wouldn’t mind making a new soulmate.

in the past week, with this happiness wave….i have felt my karma dissolving.  all these soulmates i have had relationships with over lifetimes…i forgive and accept and i forgive and accept myself.  i feel done continuing the sagas of old….i am ready to make new memories, to make a new ocean of love, to start fresh…feeling more beautiful now then ever, more supple, wise, lighter, happier…and even if i feel more urgency cause i am in the second half of my life….i also trust the timing…

perhaps it is faith that has been restored….trusting the timing, trusting the hard times, trusting the waiting, trusting my age, trusting the past mistakes, regret, lessons learned….trusting the entire process of my life….

there’s a sweetness i cannot put into words….

thank you to all of my soulmates on all levels in all lifetimes…

this journey is worth the pain and the pleasure…