unedited spew after a night with dionysian crew…

the warmth of december, snow drifted heart tending toward hermitage comes out to listen to music, make magic, play games, crawl out from the cave….please just steal me away hades, and take me back to where it’s comfortable and i can write my next story…let me sit in the basement underneath four sets of feet playing instruments and wailing, it’s the only way the story will come out…ok, four speakers in four corner wills do, but a basement please, i need to be hugged by mother earth, i need the spiders to protect me from the swells of humanity pressing on my heart with too high of blood pressure, no sense of slow…let me move slow in the drizzle, northwestern soul in my vein….i need more…mist, walks, crows, shades of light cuffing the gray soft sky….i need more lana del rey moods so i can cry…am i the only one who finds sadness beautiful anymore?  do i find myself stuck in an eighties alternative cliche?  i have romanticized those years into emotional tattoos i permanently feel.  i am this person who used to not be able to deal.  now not only do i deal, i shuffle like a whiz, laying the cards down with class, undressing illusion, going to bed alone, midnight blue heart kissing her art alone in the dark, toothpaste stains on the mirror, topaz on the fingers, pictures of colorful chaos strewn everywhere, sparking in the spirit world, and in the physical, a humble fleck of silver sand worshipping the moon each night like a loon…wishing i could be the fool… but in truth, the world i am…seeing it all, inner disco ball where i dance in a purple dress, venus in masquerade silently unfolding hot and cold…feelings like sunsets and the smell of tulips at noon…drinking coffee while gazing at fog making buildings dissolve…possibility slipping through sun cracks over the puget sound…i let go of you….become brand new but still anchored to ancient roots wearing lapis boots in secret cahoots with osiris…putting on my cheap ross socks, making a pot of mush…this is a surreal post-thanksgiving spew. winter’s in my eyes.  it’s a love story for the new age.  thank you music makers for making these waves.  i need to go paint…