who we are is the reason

nature is not socialist.  it does not make everyone the same.  for this reason, we all have different characters, different life experiences, different lessons, different souls…we are truly different.  don’t be fooled by the sameness of our two eyes, nose, mouth, heart, skin and bone, hearts and minds.  society has over-valued the surface for a long time.  the internal experience is so widely varied it would look like a chaotic kaleidoscope if you projected everybody’s character and internal experience upon a screen at once.  it would look like abstract art.

and yet…so many human beings strive for sameness.  this not only goes for political, educational, and religious institutions, it also goes for psychological states and emotional experiences.  there is resistance toward the wide and varied individual internal experience.

i notice this every time i take my journeys to the underworld and have a hard time explaining the value of recognizing pain for pain, without a sugar coated mental story to try to make myself feel better.  right now, i face the darkness simply for the darkness, without overlaying a new age equation over it…such as: happy thoughts plus good intentions equal good outcomes…while negative thoughts equal bad outcomes, for every single person on earth all the time.  because happy thoughts plus good intentions bring pain too and people who think negative thoughts may get what they want. pain happens for various reasons and sometimes for no reason at all.

as i remove the mental stories (delusions) around pain, and understand that we are all given our dose because pain is a part of life and our character…i find a sense of peace.  i am not sure why.  maybe because i value honesty.  maybe because it makes me feel closer to nature.  this planet is not a planet of easy breezy glossy linear equational outcomes.  animals hunt and eat the dead bodies of other animals.  volcanos and storms wipe out masses of life in an instant.  insects suck the blood of other beings.  you get the idea.  earth is symbiotic, sticky, intense, and violence is a part of the life….how i could break away from that psychologically and try to turn life into an ethereal equation of over simplified answers to put a band-aid over what pains me?

perhaps this blog is partially a rant.  since i have seen the mental story for the mental story, all i can see are stories for what they are….a story.  the stories we tell ourselves to manage the pain we feel, are nothing more than stories.  we tell ourselves what we need to tell ourselves in order to accept reality and try to get what we want.  it does not guarantee a happy outcome… but that’s only if your version of happiness is rooted in getting what you want from the external experience.

lately, i am understanding more… that accepting my character and the choices i make, and the life i have been given is the key to my happiness…versus trying to get what i want from the external world.  but that’s just me.  i can’t overlay my internal experience upon you and try to socialize you to my way of perceiving.  i don’t want to.  but i do want to share my perception and experience, in hopes of making an influence on you…(oh the paradox of everything i say!)

my point beneath the rant…is that our character is our destiny.

our character is, for the most part, set in stone.  i have never known anybody to transform their character.  we can transform from suffering, heal our wounds, grow, become less ignorant, more aware, and healthier (or we can go in the other direction)….but our basic personality does not budge.  and this basic personality is the part of us that makes choices.  and these choices make our destiny.

looking at a litter of puppies, you see their characters right away.  who they are is who they will be.  even though experience will shape our characters and how we are raised will highly influence our innate natures…our innate natures are fixed (unless of course your innate nature is to be mutable.)  i don’t mean to down play environmental shaping, because it has tremendous power…but think about how you can place two entirely different characters into the same exact upbringing, and the two characters will make two entirely different set of choices and have two entirely different destinies as a result.

if you are the type of character to listen to your heart and not logic, then all of your life experiences will be shaped by that.  you might make choices that you know in your mind are not beneficial, but your heart wants to take the plunge anyway.  and the pain you experience will stem from that (as well as the pleasure.)  or, perhaps in opposite, you are purely rational, and you don’t listen to your heart…the pain you experience from not following your heart will result, and the sense of security you create for yourself from being strategic, will be the pleasure.  these are extreme examples.  some characters are extreme.  some are more balanced.  we can work on being more balanced if we tend toward being extreme, or we can simply be who we are, and take the ride…our character will most likely determine this as well.

it’s not life that shapes us, it’s us that shapes life, by our character.  life shapes us back too, but still, our character determines what we will do with what we’ve been given.

using the same examples…when you remove judgement from pain, and stop seeing pain as something bad and pleasure as something good….the emotional person experiencing pain from making heart choices over the head choice, will create a learning curve that shows them what life feels like through the eyes of being an all heart person.  same for the head person.  they will learn what it’s like to be who they are.

apply this to all characters. our characters teach us about being us.  we are here, as individuals, to be us.  and our experiences, both of pleasure and pain, are our own and meant to be.  this is why it can be frustrating when we turn to others for help.  it might be best to seek comfort versus advise.  and if you are seeking a healer, therapist or guide, be sure they are well versed in who you are, and helping you to be the best you…and not the best them they think you should be.

if we don’t try to turn everybody’s internal experience into the same version….and remove judgement from pain….it is clear that being who we are, is the chosen destiny we are meant to be living.  and there is room to grow, if it is in your character to grow.  you can keep taking it back, getting super meta.  if your character values growth, that’s your chosen destiny.  if your character values destruction that’s your chosen destiny.  if your character values being the same and simply being accepted for it, there you go.

taking this idea deeper…lets say you value something you can never achieve…i will use me as an example…i value creative expression and sticking to being an artist no matter what…but if i don’t get the recognition i desire from others, and i am never valued back in the way i wish….that does not mean i was wrong…pain stemming from lack does not mean wrong…it just means i am meant to experience the integrity of my choices over validation…because my character is about integrity over validation.  don’t be fooled by not getting what you want from the external world being a wrong experience.  the learning curve is the reason.  the experience is meant to be what it is.

our characters are our characters, not just to get what we want, but more…to understand our choices due to our character and learn from that.  understanding is a highly under rated quality in our culture.  we think getting what we want is all that matters cause our culture has shoved this ideal down our throats since birth.  sure it’s great to get what we want from the world…but there are so many amazing life experiences to be lived, that have nothing to do with getting what we want.  such as… learning how to be more vulnerable, understanding who we are on deeper levels, gaining emotional autonomy, becoming stronger, more compassionate, more forgiving…and other internal treasures that have to do with why we are here.

after all, the human species is very specific in our mental capacity for creating language, stories, art, and meaning.  humans are unique in this way.  it’s for a reason.   who we are, is the reason.  and that is why i am all for the individual experience.  i want to allow the variety of internal experiences to exist without judging (unless absolutely needed to protect one’s safety.)  it’s my own learning curve.  and i do want to reduce human suffering on this planet.  it’s within my character to desire this.  and from my psychological perspective, it begins with honoring who we are, on the inside.